The Many Escapades of Mercury and Emerald
by ASouthernRussian
Summary: Mercury and Emerald don't pretend to be good people - they're not even that good of friends to each other - and yet the mercenary and the thief are completely inseparable in their wacky, stupid, and numerous adventures throughout Vale and Beacon.
1. Worst Day Ever

"Mercury, I don't know if you know this, but I absolutely hate you right now."

"Hey, less running your mouth, more actual running," Mercury shot back at Emerald as he rounded the corner into the nearest alleyway. "You can yap all you want once we lose the cops."

"Cops we wouldn't have on our tail if you didn't decide to pick the wife of the mayor as our target," Emerald bitterly snapped through gritted teeth. She was in no mood to keep silent – _this was supposed to be a routine lift, but Mercury just_ had _to pick the prettiest woman he could find._

"Says the idiot who butterfingered the wallet and got her to notice what we were doing." The pair reached a fence in the alley with tall crates propped up right next to it. "You reckon we can climb this?"

"Not like we got much choice – we're still too close to that plaza, so the heat's definitely going to find us here if we stay put." Emerald jumped up to grab hold of the edge of the crate, but she could barely reach it. "Hey, gimme a boost?"

"I thought you said you hated me right now," Mercury retorted smugly, with a hint of mock melodrama. "I don't know how much I really want to help you after you hurt my feelings so…"

"Damn it, asshole! I will actually strangle you if you keep this up!"

"Alright, alright, my dearest, I shall hoist you up," Mercury said snidely, but he did as was asked and made a platform with his hands for Emerald to use as a step up to the ledge. As she clambered up on top of the box, a lone policeman stopped by the alleyway – presumably having heard the two partners bickering – and called out them.

"Stop right there, street scum!"

"…and what do you know, they did find us," Mercury commented with some surprise. "Man, the cops are _really_ fast in this town."

"Mercury!" Emerald shouted, stretching out her arm to her partner. "Up. Now!"

"Yeah, yeah, on it." He grabbed onto her arm and pushed himself up right as the cop was within a few meters of where they were standing, waving his nightstick wildly. "Alright, let's bounce."

After about a half hour of running through central Vale, ducking in and out of more alleyways and side streets, it finally seemed as if the police gave up chase. Mercury and Emerald took the opportunity to catch their breath, catching the attention of curious passerby who were no doubt wondering what on Remnant would cause these two strange-looking kids had been up to that would cause them to be so winded. Emerald regarded each one with a threatening glare, causing them to quickly look away and pick up their pace.

Mercury slumped down by the side of a building. "Man, that was a wonderful waste of time and energy."

Emerald flopped down right next to him. "No thanks to you."

"Again, everything was under control. You just happened to be too clumsy to nab a simple wallet."

The thief scowled at Mercury's cool retort, but then she flashed a smug smirk. "Well, at least I'm not empty handed."

Mercury looked genuinely surprised. "Really now?"

Emerald reached behind her back pocket and produced a red and green plastic card with an emblem of two crossed axes. "I've got myself a bus pass for this city," she proclaimed proudly. "That's over 3 weeks of free public transportation around the city."

"Huh, well, I guess you're not as much a screw-up as I thought," Mercury said with a mildly impressed expression. He reached out for the card. "Lemme just take a look at i—"

Emerald snatched the pass away from her partner's prying hands just before he was in reach. "Oh, no, no, no, _I_ get to travel Vale whenever I want. _You_ , on the other hand, need to pay for one like every other law-abiding citizen of this place." She punctuated her declaration by sticking out her tongue.

"I hate you too, Emerald."

"Of course you do," she sarcastically replied. "Now, go get yourself a pass. We have a mess to clean up."

* * *

"So… you just killed a man."

Mercury turned from his comic book and faced his partner with a nonplussed look. "You say that like you're surprised or something."

"Well, I know that's kind of your job description, but I want to know how it feels to end someone's life."

"There's nothing to it. One moment, there's an angry wolverine – or puma – faunus lunging at me, and in the next – oops, looks like he was in the way of my gun blast." Mercury shrugged. "It's just business."

"Ooo, how stone cold," Emerald said mockingly. "So you didn't feel anything? No remorse, no pity, no nothing?"

"Look, if you want me to say that I get all sad like you do whenever Cinder doesn't notice your efforts, then—"

"That's hardly the same!" Emerald huffed as she felt a little heat in her cheeks. Ever since that one time Mercury caught her staring at Cinder, he never lived it down. _Asshole_. "I guess your heart really is as dark as your name would imply."

"Hey," Mercury interrupted with an accusatory finger. "Just because I can kill without moping about it afterward doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I have to have something for the ladies, after all."

"Pssh, yeah right. When was the last time you were with a girl? And that woman from earlier doesn't count."

"Whatever, she was taken. Well, since you don't count—"

"Thank goodness."

"—it would have to be… last night, at Junior's bar."

Emerald stopped walking and gave Mercury an unimpressed look, causing him to stop as well. "You aren't seriously talking about the twins."

"What? You're just jealous that you didn't get any action."

"Jealous?" Emerald burst out in laughter. "You were plastered out of your mind! And trust me, they were _not_ into you at all."

"Are you kidding me?" Mercury exclaimed, raising his hands in disbelief. "They were _so_ all over me. They were even horsing around, right there at the bar. I couldn't even believe it myself." He sure sounded like he could believe it.

Emerald crossed her arms with a sassy tilt. "Oh really? You must have a terrible memory, because I'm pretty sure that 'horsing around' was them trying to push you away. Of course, you were being super clingy until you eventually passed out."

Mercury glared at his partner as he considered her words. In the end, he simply shrugged. "Whatever. At least I got a kiss from one of them."

"More like you mashed your mouth into hers." Emerald gagged upon remembering the sorry scene. "Do you even remember her name?"

Mercury opened his mouth to reply, but he quickly paused to think. "…you know, that's not really a fair question, since they're twins."

"Twins with different colored outfits and different hairstyles," Emerald deadpanned. "I seriously hope you don't act this disgusting when we get to Beacon; we don't want to attract any unwanted attention to ourselves."

"Now look he—"

"Excuse me, sir and madam!" The pair froze in their tracks upon hearing that voice. It wasn't familiar, but there was something about it that screamed 'cop'. They turned around to see a young officer sprinting up to them. "There has been an incident earlier this afternoon that I must warn you about!"

As the cop bent over to catch his breath, Mercury and Emerald exchanged mildly uncertain glances. There was no doubt that whatever this incident was, they were the ones who had caused it. Still, if they answered this idiot's questions and feigned ignorance, the two of them could walk away without having to worry about anything else. "What happened?" Emerald asked with a façade of concern.

"You see… there was… a murder at a bookstore near here… Tukson's, I think." Having gotten his wind back, the man stood up straight to face the partners. "You must return to your homes at…"

His voice trailed off as he squinted his eyes, inspecting Mercury and Emerald's faces. Both of them realized that this cop must have recognized their faces from earlier in the day after their botched lift. How word of their presence spread all the way to the other side of the city was beyond them, but the pair knew one thing was certain.

Before the police officer could let out a peep, Mercury and Emerald simultaneously swung their legs upward for a devastating blow to the man's crotch. Once the cop let out a somewhat womanly screech, the two delinquents were already well on their way down the block.

"How do they keep finding us!?"

"Apparently, they don't have anything else more interesting to do around here but chasing us."

"Oh man, Cinder's not going to let us back into the city for at least a month until the heat dies down," Emerald mourned. Upsetting Cinder was grounds enough for her to feel terrible, but losing the possibility to return to Vale proper for a while was just more crappy icing on the turd cake of her day today.

"Doesn't matter, anyway, since we're going to be busy in Beacon soon enough."

"Oh yeah, pretending to be in school again. Just wonderful."

"School _without_ consequences, though. Just lots of hot teenagers looking for an escape." Mercury could feel Emerald roll her eyes, so he then added, "And all those students probably got too much lien to be carrying around all by themselves. You could probably help them out."

Emerald pondered his suggestion for a moment as they hid in what seemed to be the eighth alleyway that day and flashed her partner a smirk. "You know, Mercury, you make a good point for once."

"Of course I do. I _am_ the smart one, after all."

The thief let out an annoyed sigh. "You just had to ruin it, didn't you?"

* * *

 **Howdy, y'all! This is the little side project I mentioned in the Author's Note of my latest chapter of Purrfect Day. It's gonna just be something I poop out whenever I have the spare time, as this takes way less effort than something like Feel the Burn or Purrfect Day. It's not really going to have much shipping, and I know Em and Merc aren't characters that many people care about, but I don't really mind - this is just something fun I'm going to throw out there. Basically, this all boils down to the strange and wonderful friendship of Merc and Em and all the shenanigans they're gonna pull.**

 **That's all for now!**


	2. Welcome to Beacon

"…yes, this will do nicely."

Cinder strode into the new dorm room after surveying it for a moment. In tow were Mercury and Emerald, the latter of whom was carrying the bags for both herself and her boss. They did not share the same opinion as Cinder.

"It's a little… plain, don't you think?" Mercury ventured to ask. Sure, the beds looked comfortable enough and there were a few tacky paintings to brighten up the walls, but it was all so empty otherwise. Cinder shot back a dirty glare that caused both henchmen to freeze in place.

"I won't have any complaints from you two. We are here for the sole purpose of carrying out the plan. While Beacon is not a place lacking for money, it is not a hotel. Besides, this is probably the best treatment either of you will ever get."

Emerald had to concede that point. Beacon was amazingly lavish and high-tech for an academy, and the best place she's ever stayed the night was a two-star hotel in southern Mistral. _At least there aren't any rats._

Upon seeing how the beds were currently arranged into a row of four, a new question popped into her excited little head. "Cinder, how are we going to be sleeping? There are four beds and only three of us." Mercury's mocking be damned, she would not pass up on the opportunity to sleep near her beloved master.

In response, Cinder strolled over to one of the beds and with one swift motion pulled the covers clean off with the pillows. She laid the blankets out neatly on the bed furthest to the side, even taking care to tuck in the corners. Once the bed was all straightened out, Cinder sat down on the bed with a subtle bounce and a smile of sly satisfaction, pillow in hand. "This will be my bed. You two can have the other two."

Deflated, Emerald responded, "Of course, Cinder." She dropped off Cinder's bags by her dresser and dragged her luggage dejectedly to the other side of the room. It took all of Mercury's willpower to not let loose a fit of cackling.

"And do be quick with unpacking, you two. We have a school to inspect, and I want every one of us in Haven uniforms before we go," Cinder added. "Wouldn't want to stand out, now, would we?"

"Yes, Cinder," Mercury and Emerald said in unison. Cinder turned to her bags and began rummaging through the multitude of clothing she had brought along while the other two attended to their own things.

As Emerald inspected her uniform with a nonplussed expression, Mercury nudged her in the side and whispered to her snidely, "Welcome to Beacon."

"Yeah, thanks, asshat."

* * *

Unlike the dorm room, Beacon and the grounds around it were wondrous to behold. All the facilities were in top shape, every carpet cleaned and every bush trimmed in preparation for receiving guests from all around Remnant, and the walls were positively humming with energy – the place was absolutely loaded. Emerald noticed how carelessly all the foreign students carried their bags, while Mercury stole a few glances at some of the many huntresses milling about. Truly, Beacon had something for everyone.

"So, what do you think of Beacon?" Cinder asked without addressing anyone in particular, instead choosing to look straight ahead with purpose.

"Not going to lie, this place is pretty dope," Mercury replied, winking at a group of girls from Atlas and watching them giggle. "I don't mind staying here one bit."

"She was taking about the school itself, you worm," Emerald spat. There indeed were a lot of pretty faces about, but Mercury's shallowness never failed to disgust her. Turning to Cinder, she changed her tone to a cheerful chirp. " _I_ think that Beacon is a wonderful place for us to be in. There are plenty of little nooks and crannies scattered throughout the school that I bet most students don't know about. If sneaking around if ever something we need to do, it'll be a cinch for me." A little bit of pride slipped into her voice.

"Indeed," Cinder replied, regarding Emerald with an approving nod. Mercury rolled his eyes at the little boogie his partner did upon this. "This school is far older than all the students and the faculty, save perhaps the headmaster. Should we take time to learn the lay of the land, we certainly can move about the school swiftly and unimpeded. What of the residents, then?"

"Well, I'd say tha—"

"There aren't that many worthy opponents, especially among the first years," Mercury interjected. Emerald was taken by surprise by how serious he sounded, but Cinder continued unfazed.

"Oh? And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"No one's fighting, of course, but many of them don't look like they've seen much combat. Some of them don't even seem to realize that this is a school for training to become huntsmen, instead hanging around and gossiping like little high schoolers." Mercury then turned to look Emerald straight in the eye. "A pretty face might be all that it takes to lead them astray."

The thief glowered at the smug expression on Mercury's face, but at least now she knew that there was some justification for him checking out all the girls of Beacon. _He was testing them? That's a roundabout way of doing things._

"An interesting assessment," Cinder chimed in. "It is certainly true that most of these students have yet to see the true horror the Grimm are capable of. However, we'll have to wait until the preliminary matches for the tournament before we can truly assess the abilities of the students. There ought to be a few gems around h—"

Before she could finish her sentence, a great, red force slammed into Emerald. The thief staggered a bit but quickly regained her footing, looking down at the dazed idiot on the floor who just ran into her.

"Oh go- sorry…" The girl, clad in black and red, seemed far too young to be in a place like Beacon. The way she looked up at the trio with her silver puppy eyes seemed far too innocent for a huntress. "Are, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Emerald replied plainly, offering her hand to the downed girl. "Just… watch where you're going."

"Oh! Haha… right, sorry." As Emerald pulled the girl up, she immediately chirped, "Um, I'm Ruby! Are you new?"

Emerald really didn't care for making up small talk, but Cinder thankfully stepped forward. "Visiting from Haven, actually," she answered with her silky voice.

Ruby stared at Cinder for a while, examining her face. Both Mercury and Emerald tensed up – this seemed all too much like the day before, when that cop approached them back in Vale. Their hands were ready and clenched for a fight until the red girl's face lit up. "Ooo, you're here for the festival!" she squealed. Her expression changed once again, now seemingly confused. "Oh, but exchange students have their own dormitory."

Mercury jumped in this time. "I guess we just got turned around."

This seemed like an acceptable answer to Ruby and she laughed it off. Mercury and Emerald took that as their cue to leave – Cinder would be better suited to dealing with her anyway. "Oh, don't worry! Happens all the time. Your building is juuuuust east of here."

"Thanks," Cinder said casually. She too started to head down the hall to catch up with her henchmen. "Maybe we'll see you around."

"Yeah, maybe!" _Gods, I hope not,_ Emerald groaned to herself. They were already quite a ways down the hall, but Ruby still called out to them. "Oh, uh, and welcome to Beacon!"

Without them responding, Ruby turned around and continued her mad dash down the hall until she zipped around the corner and out of sight.

"Do we… know her?" Mercury asked. "She looks kind of familiar for some reason."

"That would be Ruby Rose, and she is one of the few first years we have to keep an eye on," Cinder replied while still looking back to where the girl rounded the corner. "She was the one who stopped one of Roman's dust robberies a few months back."

"Oh, that must be the 'Little Red' Roman kept talking about," Emerald chimed in. "Funny, from the way he described her, I would've thought her to look a little more intimidating and not… well, so small."

"I think she's adorable." The delighted tone in Cinder's voice caused Emerald's stomach to flip for some reason. With a cunning smile, Cinder walked past her two minions and headed back in the direction of their room. "Come, I think we've seen enough for one day."

Once their boss was out of earshot, Mercury once again leaned into with a stupidly smug expression. "You seem to be mad for some reason."

"Shut it," Emerald growled. She really wasn't in the mood for her partner's antics right then.

"It wouldn't happen to be the fact that Cinder complimented a girl we just ran into when you've never received a word of praise? Or perhaps it is because you don't get to share a bunk with her?"

Emerald absolutely boiled at Mercury's comments. "Will you shut up about me and Cinder already?" she spat, but seeing the smirk on Mercury's face reminded her that there was no use arguing with him. The thief let out a heavy sigh. "Is it really too much to ask for a few nice words here and there?"

"Cinder doesn't do 'nice'. Simply being in her presence is good enough in her eyes." Mercury took a few steps in the direction their master went before realizing that he was unaccompanied. "Are you just gonna sit there and be mopey all day, or are you going to come back to the room?"

Emerald slammed a fist into her other hand, her face lighting up with her new, bright idea. "You know what? I'll bet Cinder will appreciate us more if we snuck into the kitchen and steal some food for the room!"

Mercury remained perplexed. "And how is that supposed to work?"

"Well, if we have food stockpiled in the room, that means that we won't ever need to get up early in the mornings for breakfast. We can wake at 9:30 instead of 7:30 – that's two hours of extra sleep!" Emerald pumped her fist in excitement – _yes, this is absolutely perfect! Food on demand, more sleep, and a happy boss!_ "Surely then, Cinder will appreciate our efforts."

Her partner was far less impressed with the plan, if the hand covering his face was anything to go by. "That is the stupidest idea. Of all time." Looking over to Emerald, though, Mercury knew that there was no deterring her. _Man, she's really going to go through with this, isn't she? Still, not having to wake up before 8:00 is pretty sweet…_

"Alright, where do we start?"

* * *

 **Hello again, and welcome back to the silliness that is MEME!**

 **It really is a lot of fun tormenting Emerald with not getting Cinder's attention. I don't know how far I go down that hole, but there's more to Em than just her being the puppy of Cinder.**

 **On another note, I've watched the first episode for Volume 3, and man, was it awesome :D I'm very happy with the direction they're going with the show and the improvements they've made, but more importantly, it feed my mind with many, many ideas for my writing. In particular, there are a few details that will be of great help to this story down the line, but they won't come into play for a while :P**

 **That's all for now!**


	3. What Happens at Beacon

The art of stealth centers on the ability to hide in plain sight - something particularly difficult when bickering loudly.

"You can't seriously be backing out now! I can't carry a week's worth of food by myself!"

"That's sounds an awful lot like your problem and not mine. This _is_ your idea, after all."

"Well, you're already out of uniform and wearing the backpack, so you're staying in this or so help me, I will break you."

"Relax, Em, I was just kidding," Mercury said dismissively. Emerald's cutting glare wasn't buying it, though. "I'm doing this so I don't have to get up in the mornings all the time, so you can at least trust me there."

"Yeah, because you're a lazy ass."

"I prefer to think of it as expending the least amount of energy while getting the most amount of reward. You should try it sometime."

"Ugh, bite me."

While there was no express curfew at Beacon, not many students were up at the late, late hour of 11:25 in the evening. Hunter training was no joke – most people would be exhausted by the end of the day, as they can be seen moving sluggishly about during dinner time. At the moment, almost everyone had retired to their rooms, leaving the moon-lit halls almost totally empty. _Amateurs_. The pair of delinquents, on the other hand, already had the unofficial training of upper-level students and, on top of that, were well-accustomed to operating at night. There would be no interference with their plan.

Although they had only just arrived at the school earlier that day, Mercury and Emerald already had a general grasp of how to navigate Beacon. Most of the important rooms, such as classrooms, the dining hall, and the auditorium, were centrally located with the dorms expanding outward from them. There, in the center, was their target: the kitchen.

The pair reached the central lobby. "How much further do we have to go?" Emerald turned her head to ask.

"Well, the mess hall is right over… there," Mercury answered, pointing toward the southern double doors of the hall. "The kitchen has to be attached to it somewhere."

"Alright, so through the mess hall it is." Emerald strode over to the huge wooden doors that lead to the dining hall and gave the handle a good shake. "Of course it's locked."

"I could kick it down," Mercury offered helpfully.

"And leave a broken lock to raise suspicion? Really?"

Mercury merely shrugged in his usual manner. "It's always an option."

Emerald rolled her eyes. "Sure. Anyway, we've got to find a different way to get to the kitchen. There has to be another way in…"

"I remember the elevators have a maintenance floor below this ground floor, but you had to have a key to access it."

"Lovely suggestion."

"There could be stairs leading down there as well. Perhaps we can get to the kitchen from below? There ought to be a loading dock for food to come in."

"Well, there was a key preventing us to go down on the elevator, I doubt the stairs will be any better. No, there has to be a way to get there on this fl—"

Mercury suddenly interrupted her as he pushed her toward the wall with a figure above his lips. Before Emerald could let out a protest, she heard it, too – two pairs of footsteps and two voices.

"…now's not really the time. Can't you wait until the weekend?" a calm, male voice asked.

"I can't wait anymore! Come on, no one will find out in the kitchen!" an excited, almost bubbly, female voice replied.

"Alright, alright, just don't be so wild. People might hear us this time."

The female voice giggled. "Aw, don't worry, I'll be gentle!"

After the footsteps started heading away, Mercury spoke up. "Are they… doing what I think they're about to do?"

"I don't care _what_ they're going, only _where_ they're doing it. Come on, let's follow them."

* * *

Mercury was doing his best to ignore the conversation the two shadows were having out in front of him, but his mind was already going weird places.

"You forgot to bring that special something, didn't you," the male voice deadpanned.

"Maybe just a little bit… we can still do it without it though! Right?"

"You and I both know that's not a smart idea. It's not going to come out right without it, and I know how much you like its taste."

"Fiiiine," the female voice conceded with a whine. "Let's go back to get it – _then_ we can have our fun time!" _Uh oh._

"Of course." Mercury grabbed Emerald and pulled the two of them into a gap in the hall and waited for the pair of silhouettes to hurry past them. Once they were out of earshot, he let go and stepped back out in the dim hallway.

"Okay, I'm not just imagining things here, am I? Those two were definitely planning on boning in the kitchen."

"…I'm just going to pretend that never happened." Mercury could practically hear his partner roll her eyes in disgust. "Come on, they said they were going to be back soon, so we should hurry up and gather what we can before they notice us."

"You got it, boss," he replied sardonically, but he nevertheless followed Emerald's lead to the metal doors where the shadows had stood earlier. _Yup, definitely the kitchen, alright,_ Mercury thought as he sniffed the air – there were still faint traces of the dinner from earlier wafting in through the doors. _I have to wonder, though…_

"Hey, Em?"

"Yeah?" She was already inside, seeking out where the pantry might be.

"You reckon that smell is a kink?"

The thief froze in the middle of loading her first handful of energy bars into her bag. Slowly, she turned around and eyed Mercury with an incredulous expression. "How… how would that even work? And why the hell are you still thinking about that?"

"Well, I heard once that our sense of smell is one of the most powerful mental triggers," Mercury responded wistfully, setting down his own bag to shovel in the nearest food at hand. "So, if you think about it, doing the do in place that's filled with all these smells has got to be someone's way of getting off."

"Mercury, that's disg—" Emerald flared up but quickly paused to think. "Well, I suppose you're not wrong. Still, doing it in the kitchen sounds gross. I don't want someone's junk all up in the place that makes the food I'm going to be eating."

Mercury shuddered at the thought. "Good point." The pair continued their work in silence, moving around the pantry and selecting all the non-perishable items they could find and fit in their surprisingly roomy bags. They took a little from each pile of goods so as not to alert the cooks in the morning about their presence. It was an easy enough job, but easy means boring, and boredom makes Mercury ask odd questions.

"Em, what's your favorite scent?"

The sound of cans clanging against on another from her part of the room ceased. "Why would you care?"

"Just curious and bored. I'm sure I'll find some way to hold it against you, but that'll be later."

"How thoughtful of you," Emerald icily retorted. Still no movement from her end, though. "I'd have to say… smoke. I like the smell of smoke and things burning."

"Well, doesn't that sound twisted."

"Oh, up yours. What about you, then?"

Mercury didn't have time to respond, but a newcomer sure did. "Ooo, I can't wait anymore! Let's start already!" It was the female voice from earlier, cheering out as the metal doors to the kitchen swung open with a loud "bang!"

"Alright, alright, let's clear a space on the counter first," the male voice softly replied.

The food burglars were still hidden in the pantry, but with the two other people in the kitchen, there was no way for them to get out undetected. Mercury looked over to Emerald, who was brimming with frustration. "Damn it!" she whispered harshly. "Are we seriously going to have to wait through their lovemaking?"

"Who knows? He might be a quick one," Mercury helpfully suggested. Truthfully, he was a little annoyed himself that they had to wait there on the hard linoleum floor for an indefinite amount of time, but there was no use being angry. _Besides, when life gives you lemons..._

Mercury scooted up to the door of the pantry and pressed his ear against it, ignoring the dirty glare from Emerald. What he heard was a surprise indeed.

"No, silly, you gotta make it all creamy-like with this!" Pots and pans banged up against each other.

"I don't think that's really make it come out right," the male voice said with worry.

"Aww, c'mon, where's your sense of experimentation?" _Experimentation? This is going to be good._

"That's not the problem; the problem is that you're going to make it limp in the end."

"But, but last time yo— _mmmmm!_ " The girl cut herself off with a moan, and a pregnant silence permeated through the kitchen for a moment or two. "That was gooood." Mercury glanced over to Emerald, whose only response was a wide-eyed expression.

"Hey, don't get greedy yet! You'll get more later when it's ready."

"Can't we just start it now?" the girl whined. "I'm getting hungry already!"

 _Hungry? This girl is quite forward, isn't she?_ "You know we can't start making this until we add the final ingredient."

"What do you mean?"

The male voice sighed. "You forgot to add the baking soda."

 _Wait, what?_ Mercury had slowly gotten suspicious about what was going on in the kitchen, but now he was genuinely baffled about how all this baking stuff was adding up. He just had to know, cover be damned. Without warning, Mercury burst through the door and found…

"…pancakes?"

The two former shadows leapt up upon Mercury's sudden remark. One of them was a stoic-looking guy with long black hair tied in a ponytail and caked with what he could only assume was flour. The other one was unmistakably the bubbly voice from earlier – _for cryin' out loud, she's wearing a pink skirt and has a heart on her chest!_ She was the first one to break the temporary still.

"Yeah, and you can't have any!" she exclaimed defiantly, standing in between Mercury and a bowl brimming with batter.

"Nora, I don't think he's here for the pancakes," the boy stated evenly. He turned to face Mercury. "Though I suppose I am curious as to why you're here."

Emerald finally poked her head out to observe what all the commotion was about. Upon seeing the scene of the messy kitchen, she let out a breath of relief. "Oh, thank gods you were wrong."

The guy raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Oh? What did you think we were doing?"

"It's not important, rea—"

"He thought you were having sex in the kitchen."

The Nora girl started acting all fidgety. "What, Ren and I? No, no, no, we're together, but not, like, _together together_ , you know?" _Uh huh, I believe that_. "But, I mean, if I had to pick a place to do it, here wouldn't be so bad. Not that we'd _actually_ do anything, 'cause we're just friends an—"

Ren covered Nora's mouth with a silencing finger. "You don't have to explain yourself, Nora. Anyway, the question still stands: what are you two doing down here in the middle of the night?"

"Says the guy breaking into the kitchen to make pancakes," Emerald retorted.

Mercury swore he didn't see the girl in pink move, but before he realized it, she was already poking through the bag he left on the floor. "Ooo, that's a lot of food you got here!"

Ren gave Emerald a nonplussed look, to which she lamely smiled. "Alright, we never saw you here."

"And I've never seen you before."

"Good." Satisfied, she spun about on her heels and faced the door. "Let's go, Merc."

"Right." He hoisted up his sack of food and slung it over his shoulder. With one last glance over to the strange pair, Mercury waved and said, "Have fun doing whatever you were doing. Or weren't doing."

Mercury and Emerald stepped back out into the dark hallway, ignoring Nora's cheerful goodbyes. Once outside, Emerald spoke up.

"Alright, it's official – Beacon is weird."

* * *

Cinder, as always, rose in the morning with grace. The morning sun lit her up in a warm glow, almost like an angel. She had a good night's sleep and was ready to bring the day into submission. Everything felt right in the world. However, something was off that particular morning…

 _Why are Mercury and Emerald still asleep?_

Cinder thought that she had made it crystal clear that her minions would always wake up before she did so that she would never have to wait on them, yet the two of them were still sprawled out on their beds, still soundly asleep. More than that, they were still dressed in their uniforms from the day before – Mercury didn't even take his shoes off. Stranger still was how stuffed their backpacks were.

 _So, they went and nabbed something in the night?_ Cinder wondered. She didn't order them to do anything, so technically they were being insubordinate, but Cinder would chew them out later. For the moment, she was more curious as to what they decided to pilfer.

Upon opening Emerald's backpack, a number of cans, bars, and bags spilled out onto the floor, all filled with various foodstuffs. Cinder picked one of the bars with a label reading "Thrill of the Hunt Pro Bar: Now with 50% more Protein!" and gave a small shrug.

 _Not a hot breakfast, but it'll do,_ she thought as she peeled the wrapper off the bar and slipped back under the covers.

* * *

 **Good Lord, have I been shafted by exams lately. I'd been sitting on this for a while, but I've had exam after exam for the past two weeks (plus editing for Acceptance), so... well, doesn't matter, because here we are!**

 **Merc never really said what his favorite smell is, but I'd reckon it'd be something along the lines of that new shoe smell. Because, y'know, Merc is all about that footwork and likes sniffin' boots? Somethin' like that.**

 **Anyway, I'm still kinda exhausted, so this'll be the end of this little note. Catch ya next time!**


End file.
